An excellent extract for english elocution pls.?

hey ppl ... i need an excellent extract for my english elocution comp.it shud be something humorous or sentimental .. something that wud leave the ppl laughing or crying .. i have already spoken on extracts from garfield and finding nemo ,. pls suggest some good ones as soon as possible .. i had once heard a person speak an extract on the life of a banana ... how the banana felt when he is peeled and all ... its very humorous .. if possible pls give me tis extract ... or just gimme some nice one which u might have spoken n were outstanding ... pls .. pls .. thanks a lot and i want it sooon .. plsss ... !